Grow Your Training Business: Communication Skills

Communication Skills

Oct 28, 2008

Avoid the 7 Most Common Business Presentation Errors

Genuine communication is a TWO-WAY reciprocal process, not one-way information delivery. It ‘s as much a matter of human relationships as it as about transmitting facts.

Poor communication is a major, yet avoidable, obstacle to business productivity. Unfortunately many managers and executives take their communication with employees, and even customers, for granted. Many of them instinctively assume the role of a teacher who knows everything, and expects others to passively imbibe their knowledge. But genuine communication is a TWO-WAY reciprocal process, not one-way information delivery. It ‘s as much a matter of human relationships as it as about transmitting facts.

Most employees rate their managers as average to poor presenters. Here are the seven most common communication errors made by managers and executives, according to a survey of more than 5000 employees in a broad range of industries and job specialties:

Presenting without a purpose. Many executives seem to be communicating just to hear themselves talk, because those they are presenting to can ‘t discern a relevant purpose to the presentation.
Presenting without complete understanding. Many employees report that their managers and executives present information and ideas that are either extraneous or irrelevant, because they don ‘t really understand their circumstances.
Being dull and monotonous. Or even worse, attempting to open a presentation with a lame joke or anecdote.
Saying too much. Many employees (and customers) report feeling overwhelmed by a flood of information that seems random and disjointed.
Assuming the listener/audience “Gets it.” More than 70% of employees report having conversations with managers, or listening to presentations from them, in which they don’t really understand the information being presented.
Assuming the listener/audience agrees. Just because a presentation ends with loud applause doesn‘t mean that the audience agrees with the speaker, or buys into their perspective.
Ending with a loud thud. Both one-on-one communications and group presentations too often end with little more than polite smiles and applause, and both parties being grateful the ordeal is over.

So what can you do to avoid these errors? Here are seven effective strategies to help you communicate in a way that ‘s clear, concise and relevant to employees and customers:

1. Begin at the End

Almost every effective business communication is in some way a “call to action” and you should pre-determine the specific outcome or action you want to achieve. Do you want an employee to change their work habits? Do you want a customer to buy your product? Do you want the shareholders to approve the merger?

Decide in advance a specific objective that requires action or commitment on the part of your audience. If you can ‘t think of a specific outcome that requires action of commitment, then maybe you should be asking yourself if the communication is really necessary at all. Because if the only purpose is delivery of data, there are probably more efficient ways of doing it.

2. Listen First, Speak Second

Every presentation, every conversation, and virtually every other interpersonal communication should begin with questions that enhance the speakers understanding of the other person (or group). Admittedly, this rarely happens. Most speakers and presenters are so focused on THEIR message that they forget the real priority is the other person.

Of course questions take time, and listening to answers takes even more time, but if we want to consistently communicate in a way that ‘s relevant to others, we have to make sure that we truly understand their perspective.

3. Earn Attention

Never assume you have someone ‘s full attention, because most people have a multitude of thought and ideas flowing through their mind at any one time. Their mental “noise" consists of everything that distracts them including noise in the literal sense, physical or emotional discomfort, personal problems, negative attitudes, or distracting mannerisms. This is why gaining attention =E2=80=93 EARNING attention =E2=80=93 is an important prerequisite for effective communication.

Some people do this with an amusing anecdote, or a compelling personal story, and this works well in many circumstances if you have the ability to do it naturally. But you can also gain attention by presenting new information (the results of a surprising new research study, etc.) that ‘s directly relevant to their situation.

4. Present with Brevity

Oscar Wilde was quoted as saying “Brevity is the soul of wit.” It ‘s also the soul of effective business presentations. Whether you are delivering a keynote address, presenting a proposal to a prospective customer, or introducing yourself to a new employee, the essence of clear communication is brevity.

When you commit yourself to concise, succinct communication it forces you to think through your most important points and to present them without a lot of “fluff” or extraneous information.

We ‘re living in the age of 30-second commercials, and most people expect you to make a point pretty quickly, then move on to your next point, and your next, etc. Lengthy, drawn-out explanations or stories will do nothing but bore most people. So even if you have to deliver fairly intricate, complex information, break it up into information “packets” or “chunks” then make sure each element has “payoff” for the audience.

5. Confirm Understanding

This means a lot more than just asking “Do you understand?” In fact, you can always assume that when you ask employees directly if they understand you, the answer will be “yes” whether or not they really do understand. And you can assume the same thing of customers, because sometimes they don‘t know they don ‘t understand.

You can ask questions that indirectly let you know whether they “get it” without putting them on the spot. Then, if you realize that they in fact don ‘t fully understand what you‘ve been trying to communicate, you now have an opportunity to explain again. But remember, repetition isn‘t communication, and if they didn‘t understand something the first time, don ‘t just repeat yourself - find a new way to present the information.

6. Confirm Acceptance

Understanding and accepting your message are two very different things. An employee may fully understand the basis of your criticism, or a customer may accurately comprehend the logic of your proposal. But that doesn ‘t mean they ACCEPT what you have presented. And again, asking “Do you agree?” isn ‘t an effective method, although that is essentially the information you ‘re after.

Genuine acceptance of a concept presented by management, or by another worker, goes a long way towards ensuring active participation, and harmonious cooperation, in the workplace. Acceptance of the information contained in a proposal goes a long way toward closing a sale. And the key to confirming acceptance is again to ask subtle questions that reveal acceptance without putting the listener on the spot.

7. Advocate Action

Wrap up you communication with a specific “call to action.” This is the moment where you propel your abstract ideas or theoretical knowledge into the world of reality. Good ideas that aren ‘t translated into some sort of action rarely last. And in most cases the action should be two-sided (remember, communication is reciprocal) so you ‘ve got to do you ‘re part as well as ask others to do theirs.

Your first exposure to these ideas may seem a little overwhelming at first, but you ‘ll find that if you focus on them one at a time, letting yourself improve your communication efforts gradually, you ‘ll eventually develop an exceptional ability to communicate in a clear, concise and relevant manner you can be proud of.

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Aug 05, 2008

5 Keys to Clear Communication

The = pace and complexity of the modern work environment has increased = dramatically over the past two decades, and effective interpersonal = communication skills are more important than ever as teams of = executives, managers and employees try to work together under the = pressure of shorter deadlines, faster competition and continuous = change. But many people lack = the communication skills necessary to be fully effective in this = difficult environment. Interpersonal communication, even under the best = of circumstances, is an imperfect, error-prone process. When faced with = challenging situations, many employees become frustrated and communicate = LESS, not more, which only exacerbates the issue. = Any time one person = listens to another, the listener is essentially trying to reconstruct = the speaker=E2=80=99s thoughts, experiences and perceptions. This is = complicated by the fact that everything is filtered through the = listener=E2=80=99s own thoughts, experiences and perceptions. = To minimize the = likelihood of misunderstanding, in any important communication in a = business environment, the speaker should include 5 key elements that = will help the listener mentally =E2=80=9Creconstruct=E2=80=9D the = speaker=E2=80=99s true meaning: 1. Observation Begin by stating what = you are seeing, hearing or otherwise sensing. Begin with =E2=80=9Cjust = the facts=E2=80=9D as you have observed them, avoiding generalizations = such as "you always..." or "you = never..." and being specific about place, time, how often, = etc.  Describe rather than diagnose, avoiding words that label = or judge the actions you observe. So instead of saying = =E2=80=9CAre you EVER going to get a monthly report to me in = time?=E2=80=9D you would observe =E2=80=9CI haven=E2=80=99t received the = monthly report that was due last week, and this is the fifth time = it=E2=80=99s been late.=E2=80=9D   =     2. Emotion After making an = objective statement of your observations, then it=E2=80=99s appropriate = to express how this makes you feel. Use specific emotion descriptors = such as glad, angry, delighted, sad, afraid, resentful, embarrassed, = calm, enthusiastic, concerned, delighted, etc.  = But avoid words that = imply the action of another person: "I feel=E2=80=A6ignored, = manipulated, mistreated, dominated, used, cheated,=E2=80=9D etc. Notice = how these words indirectly blame the listener for the speaker=E2=80=99s = emotions. In order to help your listener understand what you are = feeling, translate these "implied blame" words into an = explicitly named emotion. For example: = "I=E2=80=99m feeling like you=E2=80=99re not carrying your = share of the work load around here=E2=80=9D could be expressed more = productively as "I=E2=80=99m concerned about this because = it=E2=80=99s a recurring issue.=E2=80=9D 3. Interpretation After observing the = facts and expressing your feelings, then you should provide your = interpretation; an explanation of WHY you have the feelings you do. A = common cause of miscommunication is different interpretations of the = same events, which lead to different emotional responses. = So in order for the = listener to fully appreciate and understand the emotions you=E2=80=99ve = expressed, they need to also understand your interpretation of the = events. Express your interpretation with phrases like =E2=80=9Cbecause I = imagine that...=E2=80=9D or =E2=80=9Cbecause I take that to mean = ...=E2=80=9D rather than phrases that assign blame such as = =E2=80=9Cbecause YOU didn=E2=80=99t ...=E2=80=9D or =E2=80=9Cbecause YOU = said.=E2=80=9D Example: = =E2=80=9CBecause it seems like I can never depend on you=E2=80=9D would = be more effectively stated as =E2=80=9Cbecause we all depend on each = other, and I want us all to be as productive as = possible.=E2=80=9D 4. Request for Action The next step is to = clearly request action, which may be in terms of information given, = commitment made or a specific act to be completed. Since most people = cannot produce emotions on request, it is generally not productive to = ask a person for an emotion ("I want you to cheer up." = "I want you to be as concerned about this as project as I = am.") If your want is = general, ask for a specific step toward it. Translate open-ended = requests, such as for "consideration, respect, help, = understanding, support" etc., into specific action verbs such = as please "listen, complete, tell me, " = etc.  State your want in specific positive terms:  = =E2=80=9CPlease be on time" rather than "Don=E2=80=99t = be late."  Include when, where, how. Including the = details can help you to avoid big misunderstandings. = 5. Mutual Benefits The final key is to = clearly state the positive results of the requested action, information = or commitment. In describing the specific positive results of acting = upon your request, you allow the other person to become motivated by = feeling capable of giving something worthwhile. This prepares the = ground for later expressions of appreciation, and points your = relationship toward mutual appreciation and the exercise of competence, = rather than guilt, duty, obedience or resentment. For example: =E2=80=9C = I know we both want the same thing really, and I think this will help us = get it.=E2=80=9D <h1 style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0in 12pt">A Final = Example</h1> You=E2=80=99re fifteen = minutes into an important business meeting when one of the other project = team members arrives late. You=E2=80=99re incredibly frustrated, but you = wait until the first break to take this person aside and whisper = furiously =E2=80=9CWhat=E2=80=99s going on with you? You=E2=80=99ve been = late to practically every meeting for the past two = months?=E2=80=9D While your frustration is probably valid and = understandable, it=E2=80=99s not likely to get you what you ultimately = want: assurance that the project will be completed as required. So you = might instead try this approach: =E2=80=9CI=E2=80=99ve = noticed over the past several weeks you=E2=80=99ve been late to most of = our meetings (observation) and I=E2=80=99m concerned about you and the = team (emotion) because it may mean that you=E2=80=99re either overloaded = or distracted (interpretation). I=E2=80=99d like to know why = you=E2=80=99ve been late, and work with you to come up with a plan to = address the issue proactively (request for action) because we value your = contribution and having you as a team member we can count on is good for = all of us, including you.=E2=80=9D Sometimes the Longer = Road is Faster Some = individuals will initially find that expressing themselves this = thoughtfully and carefully is frustrating because it appears to take = longer than their usual quick style of communication, and it seems to = them that some of this should be obvious to the listener (You mean I = have TELL them I=E2=80=99m frustrated!?) But if you include all the time = it takes to unscramble everyday misunderstandings, and to work through = the feelings that usually accompany not being understood, expressing = yourself more completely this way can actually take a lot less time and = have a tremendously positive impact on group = productivity.

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Aug 04, 2008

Why They Don't "Get" the Value of Training

Even though "ROI" = has become practically a mantra for corporate Training and Development = departments in the past few years, we're still hearing the same = lamentations from the same trainers: They just don't GET it. = "They" in this case meaning executives and business = leaders. Well, maybe it is time to recognize = that true communication of the value that training and development = brings to an organization has to go well beyond data alone. = Certifications, test results and formal ROI analysis often DOES NOT = effectively demonstrate the value of training; communication does. = (And we ARE great = communicators, aren't we?) One of the mistakes many of us have = made as we tried to "walk in the shoes" of business = leaders and communicate the value of training on their terms was to = assume that they were nothing but walking/talking spreadsheets. Sure, = they were asking for numbers, but that's not all they needed to = really understand the value of training. They need more, and its up to us to = give them more. Here are several ways you can communication the results = and VALUE of your training initiatives to business executives and other = leaders throughout your organization: <ul> <li> Instructional = design. Make your learning objectives resonate for = business leaders. Use the curriculum design  as a tool to = communicate the specific results you intend to achieve. Use your = learning objectives to emphasize the overall BUSINESS BENEFITS of the = training. When you include observable and measurable learning objectives = that clearly impact business productivity, executives and directors will = often suddenly "get" = it.</li> </ul> Examples (from a = variety of training programs): Participants will learn = specific interpersonal skills to make every customer feel more satisfied = and be more loyal to our business, every time they visit or = call. Participants will learn = to address the most difficult and challenging issues in a positive and = productive manner - ultimately saving time, minimizing errors and = enhancing the customer experience. Participants will = develop the skills needed to call on tough prospect accounts that = represent potential high-margin business. Participants will learn = and adopt specific safety measures which have been proven to reduce the = rate of injury and equipment downtime. Participants will learn = negotiation skills designed to maintain high-volume/high-margin business = while increasing the perception of value received by the = customer. <ul> <li> Debriefings. After every significant = training initiative, invite business leaders and executives to a review = session. Even if they don't attend (which they often = won't) you can provide them with an executive summary. = </li> </ul> The debriefing is an = opportunity to re-verbalize the ultimate BUSINESS OBJECTIVES of the = training initiative (repetition is good - keep reminding people WHY the = training is important) without shying away from any = =E2=80=9Cdon=E2=80=99t let this happen again=E2=80=9D = moments. Overall, focus most on = what went right and the ultimate business benefits you expect to = achieve.  This provides an opportunity to educate executives = on how to assess effectiveness by including them in the evaluation = process. <ul> <li> Publish annual = reports. Publish an annual report that tells executives = and business leaders about users=E2=80=99 responses to the training you = developed and delivered, and the business results you have helped = clients achieve. Not only is this a great means of reminding the = organizational leadership of how you have helped them, but it helps = manage the expectations for upcoming training = efforts. <li> Informal = communications. Always take advantage of opportunities to = politely tell executives and business leaders how you have helped the = organization. Be careful about crossing the boundary between informing = and bragging, but don't shy away from "tooting your own = horn" when you have specific accomplishments that deserve = recognition.</li> </li></ul> For = example: "We were = really pleased with the overall results of last month's safety = training. Already we've seen a 12% decline in injury rates. And = we're beginning a reinforcement program this month to maintain = the improvement." "Feedback from = participants was generally positive, but what we're most excited = about is the change we're already seeing in behaviors. We had = Salespeople calling on more than 80 new accounts this month, which is a = company record for prospecting = activity."

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Apr 23, 2008

A Commitment to Improved Communication

Developing an individual=E2=80=99s speaking, = listening, questioning, reflecting and negotiating skills takes a fair = amount of time and effort. And the short term motivations that people = and organizations bring to the process may not keep them involved long = enough to reach their goals. Most business people = begin to focus on communication skills because of a specific immediate = need to have more productive, satisfying conversations with a particular = person or within a particular work group. These reasons are perfectly = good ones as far as they go, but they are often not very deep or = long-term. The problem here is that developing an individual=E2=80=99s = speaking, listening, questioning, reflecting and negotiating skills = takes a fair amount of time and effort. And the short term motivations = that people and organizations bring to the process may not keep them = involved long enough to reach their goals. No one expects to become = an athlete or a violinist overnight, but many people hope to make major = improvements in their communication style with a minimum investment of = time and effort, only to be disappointed at the meager results. = What = seems to be needed in communication training are motivations that are = deeper, more strategic and longer-term. Whenever we find examples of = high competence and excellence in human life, we also find examples of = deep, long-term motivations. This is not meant to discount short-term = motivations or priorities, but to help create the level of motivation = and inspiration necessary to reach a level of long-term communication = excellence. Individuals and work groups should answer the following = questions to help focus on the long-term benefits of more effective = interpersonal communication: <ul> <li> What kind of person do I want to become? = What kind of organization do we want to create? = <li> What kind of person do I enjoy being? When = are we most proud of our organization? = <li> How can I deepen my relationships with the = important people in my life, and how can we nurture the life that lives = between us? How can we create cohesive work groups that help us truly = realize the extraordinary potential of our combined = talents? <li> What kind of world/work = environment do I want to create with my conversations and actions? = </li> </li></li></li></ul> These = are tough, powerful questions that challenge individuals and = organizations to develop deeper, more relational goals, rather than = focusing exclusively on tactical work objectives. Again, the immediate, = tactical goals are important, and greater communications skills can help = achieve them, but it=E2=80=99s the deeper goals that will maintain the = skill development effort long enough to achieve true communication = mastery. Developing better communication skills can be a central way of = becoming more of the person you want to be and creating more of the = organization you want be a part of. Practice matters more = than talent A recent = statistical analysis of Olympic gold medal winners produced a result = that is both startling and reassuring. The single most important factor = in winning a gold medal was having practiced longer than one=E2=80=99s = competitors. The analysis showed that the winners had consistently = started to practice their skills earlier in life than everyone else in = the contests. The evidence strongly suggests that gold medal winners are = not necessarily more = talented than everybody else. They just work much harder = and much longer at being athletes than everyone else does. What this = implies is that, with practice, most skills are within the reach of most = people. Over-learning There = is an important psychological principle at work in all skill development = and that principle is called over-learning. If we learn something just = well enough to do it once successfully, we will not actually remember = how to do it for very long. To master a skill, we have to practice it a = lot more than would seem necessary. In order to remember better = communication skills in the middle of arguments and tense negotiations, = a person needs to feel very competent and comfortable in using those = skills, just as an accomplished musician can play musical scales without = consciously thinking about it. (Even the greatest of musicians still = practice many hours a week.) The reward for practicing your = communication skills is that you will feel better about yourself and = your connections to the people around you, and be able to face conflict = situations more confidently. You will probably also be able to get more = of what you want -- by being skillful enough to help your partners in = working and living get more of what they want, too. Doing what comes = naturally It = might seem as though we ought to be able to get through life by just = "doing what comes naturally," that we should not have = to try so hard. But if you stop to reflect on how humans learn to talk, = it is clear that, as far as communication skills are concerned, we are = born knowing how to cry, how to grunt, and how to learn everything else. = That=E2=80=99s about it. Almost all of what seems = =E2=80=98natural=E2=80=99 to us now is the result of intense learning = all through our lives. As natural as it may feel to use sarcasm or ask = self-defeating questions, these are actions we learned by copying = others. We can learn = new skills that will in time feel as natural as the old = ones. In fact, learning new skills is the most natural thing in the = world. It is what we = are designed to do as creatures with big brains and = multipurpose hands. Every Day =E2=80=93 A New Lesson in = Communication A big part of mastering = communication skills is learning to see opportunities to practice them. = This involves seeing everyday conversations and disagreements in a new = light, seeing them as  opportunities to learn, grow, practice = your skills and enjoy being skillful. Here are just a = few    examples of everyday situations = that can be viewed as interpersonal communication = lessons: <ul> <li> Talking about thoughts, feelings, experiences and wants with = the people who are close to you. <li> Listening to co-workers, friends and family members share = their experiences, thoughts, and feelings. <li> Talking with co-workers, friends and family members to express = your appreciation of them. <li> Talking with co-workers, friends and family members to resolve = your conflicts with them. <li> Talking and listening to coordinate your actions with the = actions of the important people in your life (at home, in work, in = community projects, etc.) <li> Communicating with yourself through journal writing and = "inner conversations." <li> Listening and clarifying the issues as a mediator between = people in conflict. <li> Learning to bring out the best in yourself and others in and = through conversation. </li> </li></li></li></li></li></li></li= ></ul> The growth and = development of any organization is nothing more than the sum of the = growth and development of it=E2=80=99s individual members, and every = human being is born with both a capacity and a gentle yearning to grow = in many directions: toward awareness, caring, relevance, creativity and = so on. The more actions we perform that express these qualities, the = more we have feelings of coherence, community, integrity, and = well-being. We like ourselves more. The fewer of these kinds of actions = we perform the more we have feelings of fragmentation, alienation, = self-dislike, and perhaps numbness. Unfortunately, our "gentle yearning" to grow = in these directions is easily overruled by harsh circumstances. Thus we = need to work together to nurture those impulses in ourselves and others = and so create a work environment that feels good to live in. = By = improving our interpersonal communication =E2=80=93  the way = we talk and listen =E2=80=93 we can create gentle waves of change in = both our working relationships with other people and our inner = relationship with ourselves. The ultimate result is individual = development and organizational achievement that produces both intense = employee satisfaction and extraordinary workplace = productivity.

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Apr 14, 2008

Clear Telephone Communication

Many employees people don=E2=80=99t take full advantage of the = power and opportunity of the lowly telephone because they take the = quality of their telephone conversations for granted. But with the = application of a few simple techniques they can significantly improve = the productivity of every telephone = conversation. Because the telephone is such a common, everyday tool used in = business communication, it=E2=80=99s easy to forget that there are = distinct limitations and challenges with telephone communication. This = article presents several guiding principles followed by ten specific = tips to enhance your telephone communications. <h4 align=3D"left" style=3D"TEXT-ALIGN: left">Principle #1 - Have a Clear Objective, and a = Call Plan</h4> When making an outgoing = call, always know in advance what you want to discuss, and a clear idea = of what you want to accomplish. Always ensure that you have all the = documentation and information you need to achieve your aim. This saves = both your time and the time of the person you are talking = to. If necessary, write a = script. This may be as simple as a list of bulleted items you want to = make sure you cover, or it may be as detailed as the exact phrasing you = want to use. A script can help you overcome nervousness or mental = distractions and can prevent those embarrassing moments when you finish = a call and realize there was one more detail you wanted to clear = up. <h4 align=3D"left" style=3D"TEXT-ALIGN: left">You should also prepare a voice mail message in advance, even if = you plan to speak with the individual directly. You may get their = voice mail or an answering = machine, and if you=E2=80=99re not prepared you can sound stilted and = off-balance as you come up with a message =E2=80=9Con the fly=E2=80=9D = so prepare a message in advance, or if you=E2=80=99re caught off guard = than hang up, prepare a message, and call back to deliver it smoothly. = </h4> <h4 align=3D"left" style=3D"TEXT-ALIGN: = left">Principle #2 - Be Concise, Direct and = Honest</h4> When calling, state = your request succinctly ("Do you have two minutes to talk about = the materials I sent you last week?") and present an option. If = the person can't talk at that moment, try to get a specific time = when you should call back. Especially in these days of excessive = telemarketing, it's important to respect the value of your = party's time. Present information clearly, and give = concise answers to questions: long rambling responses are unprofessional = and confusing. If you = don't know an answer, just say so, and tell them you=E2=80=99ll = get back to them with a firm answer. If someone relies on you = when you=E2=80=99re guessing, and you guess wrong, they=E2=80=99ll never = trust you again. At the end of a = call, summarize the points made: This ensures that both = people agree on what has been said, and know what action will be taken. = <h4 align=3D"left" style=3D"TEXT-ALIGN: = left">Principle #3 =E2=80=93 Be Upbeat, but =E2=80=9CFlex=E2=80=9D = your Style</h4> You should always be energetic and = enthusiastic, but tailor your style to that of the person you are = talking to. Busy people often prefer a clean-cut, direct approach with a = bare minimum of social chat. Others may prefer a more sociable approach. = In general, even with highly sociable people, limit your social conversation: = Social chat may be pleasant, but taken to extremes it wastes = time. Try to be fully = "present" when you use the phone. A casual attitude = toward the telephone can undermine your communication efforts. = It's easy to take the phone for granted, but doing so can cause = us to overlook the messages we send out -- intentionally or not -- over = the wires. <h4 align=3D"left" style=3D"TEXT-ALIGN: = left">Principle #4 - Review and = Confirm</h4> Repeat back to the = other party your interpretation of the call, especially if a verbal = negotiation has been completed. Doing so can clarify overlooked details = and also communicates to your clients that you really want to meet their = needs. Faxing a summary of your notes of the conversation can be an = effective way of following up with a client, as it paves the way for = clear understanding and provides prompt = confirmation. Most people see the = phone as a convenience, but for savvy business people, it's more = than that -- it's a powerful business tool. Use these tips to = maximize your effectiveness on the phone and boost your business to = greater profits and success: <ul> <li> Use appropriate volume. = Speak as if someone were 2 or three feet away. = <li> Be clear. Speak crisply. = Avoid slurring syllables or trailing off at the end. = <li> Smile. A smile conveys = sincerity and enthusiasm. <li> Speed. Your speech speed = can indicate your attitude. The ideal rate is 150-160 words per minute. = If you speak faster, the caller may doubt your credibility. Any slower = and you may bore your listener. <li> Be expressive. Be = yourself. Speak like you would to a friend. = <li> Use a positive language approach. The words and phrases you = use shape other people's images of you. They can affect other = people's decisions about whether they are going to cooperate = with you. And, most importantly, the words that come out of your mouth = also go into your ears. Try positive phrases like, "I'd = be happy to..." rather than the negative "I have = to..." <li> Use your first and last = name to identify yourself. <li> Lower your voice at the = end of a sentence, especially a question. This conveys confidence and = competence. Raising your voice (as in your voice going up to ask a = question) conveys uncertainty. Be careful to lower your vocal tone only, = and to keep your volume strong. <li> Write down ideas on how = to respond. Jot down key points and ideas so that you will be able to = respond effectively when you have a chance to speak. = <li> Change your outgoing message daily when = using voice mail or an answering device. Leave a brief professional = message with today's date and when you will be returning = calls. </li> </li></li></li></li></li></li></li= ></li></li></ul>

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Mar 21, 2008

Handling Complaints and Criticism

Elbert Hubbard = said, "To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be = nothing." And as the old saying goes, "What = doesn't kill us can make us stronger." So, since an = active life is bound to be full of criticism, we are surrounded by = opportunity to become stronger. Although some = handle it better than others, none of us can claim to like it when we = are criticized, especially if the critic knows us well. But when handled = properly, criticism can become a multi-faceted opportunity to improve = yourself and your performance, to strengthen your relationships and to = re-examine your thinking. Elbert Hubbard = said, "To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be = nothing." And as the old saying goes, "What = doesn't kill us can make us stronger." So, since an = active life is bound to be full of criticism, we are surrounded by = opportunity to become stronger. Fight or Flight Whenever = you=E2=80=99re being criticized, whatever the circumstances, = you=E2=80=99re instinctive reaction is the same. Your heart beats = faster, your skin temperature goes down, and you even lose peripheral = vision. Because you feel under attack, your first instincts are to focus = on that feeling, making it more intense. You then feel like withdrawing = or retaliating. Just remember that either instinctual response (fight or = flight) leaves you with fewer options - not more - so avoid = both. When you focus = on your feelings, you are distracted from hearing the content of the = other person's comments, leaving you more likely to react rather = than choosing how you want to act. Avoid a "face-off" = of escalation of comments between the two of you. Instead, imagine a = triangle of three entities: the other person, you, and the topic of the = criticism. Picture the two of you staring at the criticism, the third = point in the triangle, to work through the comments, rather than staring = each other down, where one person has to be wrong. Focus on the Positive Look to other = people's positive intent, especially when they appear to have = none. You are your most disarming when you compliment someone else for = taking the time to give you feedback. You take the wind out of their = sails. The other person might even backtrack. Yet our first = instincts are to look for the ways we are right and others are less = right. In responding to criticism, the momentum of defensive emotions = builds fast. Why? Because we mentally focus on the smart, thoughtful, = and "right" things we are doing, while obsessing about = the dumb, thoughtless, and otherwise wrong things the other person is = doing, leading us to take a superior or righteous position, get more = rigid, and listen less as the criticism continues. Difficult as = you might find it, try staying mindful of your worst side and the other = person's best side as you engage in responding to the criticism. = You will probably be more generous and patient, thus increasing the = chances he will see areas where you might be right after all. Act as if = he means well, especially if he appears not to - not for his sake, but = for yours. 1. Acknowledge the = Critic Acknowledge = that you heard the person - with a pause (buys time for both of you to = cool off), a nod, or a verbal acknowledgment demonstrating you heard. = Whether the criticism is justified or not, an attempt to avoid = discussing it will loom large in the minds of bystanders and stick to = you like flypaper as you attempt to move on. Do not disagree or = counterattack. Prove you have = heard the person's comment perhaps by saying, "I = understand you have a concern" rather than "You = shouldn't have." Avoid blaming or = "bad-labeling" language such as = "That's a lie" or "You don't = know what you're talking about" which only pours hot = coals on the heat of escalation and hardens the person into a position = with an urge to elaborate. Take this = moment of acknowledgment to reflect on the kind of criticism you are = facing. There are four basic types: <h2 style=3D"MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; LINE-HEIGHT: = 12pt">Concerned = Criticism =E2=80=93 This criticism is based on concern for you as person. = The person giving the critique genuinely cares about your well-being. = Concerned criticism is tactful and gentle. It is helpful, considerate = and usually easy to accept. </h2> Constructive = Criticism =E2=80=93 This type of criticism is focused on improving your = behavior. It points out what is wrong in order to help you do better. = Constructive criticism moves beyond the problem and suggests alternative = behaviors. It then provides encouragement and support for the new = behaviors. Casual = Criticism =E2=80=93  Casual or uncaring criticism is difficult = to receive. It is often blunt or harsh. It is frequently a result of = poor judgment and based on a lack of knowledge and understanding. It may = be more false than true. Confrontational Criticism =E2=80=93 This criticism is hostile and may = be based on anger, fear, jealously or similar negative emotions. It = often has an ulterior motive or hidden agenda. It is the most difficult = criticism to handle and need not be taken seriously. =  2. Concede Goodwill or = Ignorance Take criticism = as friendly. This attitude is for your peace of mind, not your = critic's. When you concede goodwill, you disarm any negative = attitude in the critic and encourage him to become an ally. Brian Tracy = calls a person with this goodwill attitude "an inverse = paranoid." In reality, everyone is not out to help you, but by = holding the belief you avoid becoming defensive toward criticism or the = critic. What about = when the person really is out to get you, as in confrontational = criticism? In that case, concede ignorance. When someone says something = hostile toward me, I like to picture the following scene: I see myself = helping an elderly blind man across the street when a bus buzzes by and = spooks him. The blind man begins to strike me with his cane. I defend = myself and calm him down, but I don't hit him back, and I = don't get mad. Why? Because he is blind and doesn't = understand the situation. The same is true of your hostile = critic. Ask for more = information so you both can cool off more and stay focused on the issue, = not the feelings or personalities. Go slow to go faster later in = reaching agreement about how to resolve the criticism. Try to warm up to = the part of the person you can respect. Focus on the positive part of = her mentally, and refer to it verbally: "You are so = dedicated" or "knowledgeable" or whatever = self-image leads her to criticize you. The more fully the other person = feels heard, the more likely she will be receptive to your response, = whether to agree or disagree. 3. Be Objective, and Seek Common = Ground Examine the = reasons behind the criticism. Is it deserved? Ask yourself, what is the = amount of truth in this criticism? Ask a friend if he thinks the = criticism is true. If it has little or no truth, then reject it from = your mind and life. Ignore untrue criticism. Eleanor Roosevelt said, = "Living in the public eye accustoms one to accept criticism. = One learns gradually to take it objectively, and to try to think of it = as directed at somebody else, and evaluate whether it is just or = unjust." If possible, = align with something the other person has said with which you agree. = That is, first speak to the common ground you feel is not in dispute. = There may be only one, apparently small point, but starting with the = positive creates some momentum forward. If, in listening, you can find = no point of agreement, refer to the part of the person's = positive self-image that might have inspired him to raise his concerns. = For example, you might say, " I understand you want to be very = thorough in how you approach these matters" or "I know = that you really care about this project." 4. Treat Factual Criticism as an = Opportunity True criticism = gives you the opportunity to improve some aspect of your life. It can be = a warning sign telling you that something in your life needs to be = fixed. Solomon said, "He who listens to a life-giving rebuke = will be at home among the wise. Whoever heeds correction gains = understanding." Ask yourself what you can do to improve based = on the criticism. 5. Add Your Own Point of View, and Dismiss Untrue = Criticism Add your own = point of view, asking permission first. If you believe the = other's comments are accurate, say so. If an apology is in = order, give it sooner rather than later. Then say what you plan to do = differently to respond to the criticism. Ask for the person's = response to your comments and again say thanks for being thoughtful in = offering them. If you find truth in the criticism, the sooner you = verbally agree, the more likely you will engender respect from the other = person and any others who witness the interaction. In fact, if you tell = others who are important to that person that you were wrong and = appreciate having it pointed it out to you, you will feel and appear = more comfortable with yourself. If, on the = other hand, you disagree with the comments, say, "May I tell = you my perspective?" This sets the other person up to give you = permission to state your view, as you have been willing to listen to = his. After you have = honestly considered the criticism, if it doesn't apply to you, = forget about it. Write it off. Kick it out of your mind. If the person = continues to direct false criticism at you, do your best to avoid that = person. Sophia Loren says, "I like criticism when it is = constructive; then it helps me. But when someone is critical just to be = mean or tear something down, I must go away from that = person." Henry Ironside = said, "If what they are saying about you is true, mend your = ways. If it isn't true, forget it and go on." People are = most revealing when offering praise or criticism. Praise indicates what = they most like about themselves, and criticism often shows what they = least like or feel least competent about in themselves, which means = criticism is actually a two-way mirror. Responding to another's = criticism with honesty and grace, and actually gaining new insights = about yourself and the other person in the process, is a tremendous = skill that will help you take your business success to a whole new = level.

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Feb 19, 2008

High Impact Written Communication

While it's true = that writing and speaking on the phone are different forms of = communication, the fact remains that either one is equally affected by = your state of mind at the moment you are either speaking or writing = copy. As simple as it may sound, smile and your = writing can quickly and easily go from a boring diatribe that drones on = and on to copy that's exciting to read, has emotional juice and = most importantly, makes the sale! When you speak on the telephone and = you're in a somber, indifferent kind of mood, what do you sound = like? I'll bet you don't sound excited! So would it make = sense then that if you were to sit down and write copy in a less than = excited mood, your copy might not be too = exciting? While it's true that writing copy = and speaking on the phone are different forms of communication, the fact = remains that either one is equally affected by your state of mind at the = moment you are either speaking or writing copy. So how do you put yourself into an excited, = passionate state of mind before writing? Well, there=E2=80=99s no = cookie-cutter answer to that question. What excites you? I mean, what = REALLY excites you? Is it a favorite song? Is it dancing? How about a = combination of dancing and singing? How about pretending you were a = super rock star on stage in front of thousands of raving fans? Find = whatever it is that really juices you and use it to get you up and going = now! You see, it may all sound a little odd, but = in order to be able to write with passion, you've got to first = feel that passion in your body! To do that, you've got to get up = out of your chair, get excited and create all kinds of energy in your = body. Try it now--yes, you can do it. Close the = door to your office. Flip on the radio to your favorite station, or pop = in your favorite cassette. Now crank it up, get up and dance and sing as = if you were on stage in front of thousands of raving fans! How would you = dance? What gestures would you use? Would you make noises? Do whatever = you'd do on that stage, but enjoy it and take it to a level = you've never been to before!   Now, sit back at your computer or = typewriter (you still use a typewriter?). But don't sit down and = slump back into your seat!! Sit up straight. Sit on the edge of your = seat! Just as you would if you were intensely involved in a great = thriller of a movie--because your copy is just that, a = thriller! Now, picture yourself staring straight at = your prospect. What would you say to them? How would you say it? Would = you be passive or would you be excited about your product? Begin typing = this stuff as fast as you can with tons of energy, passion, and = emotion! Don't' stop typing until = you have completely exhausted your stream of consciousness thinking! And = I mean completely! Don't stop for at least 15 minutes!! Even = when you hit a point where you don't know what else to say, = pretend you do and keep going!! This is so important because your best = material comes out AFTER you have exhausted what you at first may have = thought was your best stuff!! Now, take a deep breath. Sit back and print = out what you have just typed. Grab that hard copy (never try reading = from your computer screen, you'll miss hundreds of mistakes!). = Stand up and read your copy OUT LOUD! That's right, read it out = loud as if you were delivering a speech! You did want to know how to write = "WOW!" copy didn't you? Review and correct = your copy until it reads as smooth as speaking. You've just done = it. You've created copy that has emotion, passion, and most of = all excitement! There are also a few more conventional = strategies you can use to improve the impact of your written = communication: 1. = Target your writing It is essential to have = a clear idea of who your reader is. You should know why he or she is = going to be reading your piece, where and when they will be reading it, = and what they will want to get out of it. Knowing this, and knowing what = information you want to convey allows you to decide an aim for the = article. You should focus all decisions on content, structure, style and = presentation on meeting this aim. 2. = Preparing an outline Once you have decided = the aim of the article, you are ready to prepare an outline. This allows = you to start to organize the information in an article into a coherent = structure. If you start writing without an outline you are in danger of = producing a disorganized, chaotic mess that confuses your reader and = fails to make the desired connections in his or her mind. = An effective way of = producing an outline is to open up a Word Processor document and to type = in the facts that you have decided to include. You can then cut and = paste these notes into related groups, and order these groups in a way = that supports your argument. Once you have selected = information and organized a structure, prepare an outline of the = introduction and summary. The shape of these should be obvious from the = structure you have given your information. The introduction should help = the reader to prepare an overall structure into which the information in = the article can be fitted. The summary should organize the facts in the = middle of the article into a coherent whole. 3. = Write, write, write! When you have prepared = your outline, it is time to start writing! The easiest way of doing this = is just to let the words and ideas flow. Move quickly through the piece = without editing or reviewing it. This will help to keep your creativity = flowing without it being crippled by self-criticism. = Only when you have = finished a section should you review it. At this stage you may decide to = reorganize it, edit it, change it around, and add or delete information. = As you review it you should check that what you have written meets the = aim you set and gives the reader the information they want. = 4. = Use appropriate Style The style of the = article should be completely focused on the reader's needs. = Language used should be pitched at the appropriate level for the reader. = People generally prefer information presented in short sentences with = little or no jargon. You may be tempted to write in a way that you think = will impress your readers, using long words and complex sentences. All = this shows is that you are not able to communicate ideas clearly and = simply. It is likely that material written like this will not be read at = all. If you need to use = technical language that may not be understood, include a glossary. = Remember that you have responsibility for the clarity, effectiveness and = focus of your communication. Beyond this, style will emerge on its own = without you needing to worry about it. Summary <ul> <li> If you want to write = high-impact copy, put yourself into a passionate, excited, high-impact = state of mind first! <li> Know who you are = writing for, and what they will want from your writing. Once you know = this you should know precisely the level you are writing at and what = information to include. <li> Prepare an outline to give structure to = your piece. An effective way of doing this is to transfer notes into a = WP document, and then cut and paste words and sections into a coherent = form. <li> Include an introduction = and summary to help readers structure information in their minds. = <li> When you write, try to = let words and ideas flow. Only edit and review a section once you have = completed its first draft. As you review it, ensure that the material = meets the aim you set for the piece. <li> The style of the piece = should be focused on the readers needs. Avoid trying to = impress people with your knowledge. <li>Remember that the responsibility for effective communication lies = with you! </li> </li></li></li></li></li></li></ul= >

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Gaining Permission to Communicate

When we begin a conversation = by respecting the wishes of the other person, we start to generate some = of the goodwill needed for creative problem solving and productive = business communication. If you need to have a = lengthy, complex, or potentially difficult conversation with someone, = you can significantly enhance the ultimate effectiveness of the = conversation gain permission first, that is, if you briefly explain your = conversational intention and then invite the consent of your intended = conversation partner. This will start the conversation off on the right = foot, maximize your rapport with the other person and reduce possible = misunderstandings. Why ask = permission? Some conversations require a lot more time, effort and = involvement than others. If you want to have a conversation that will = require a significant amount of effort from the other person, it will go = better if that person understands what he or she is getting into and = consents to participate. When people agree to talk with us, and have at = least a =E2=80=9Cbig picture=E2=80=9D understanding of the purpose of = the conversation, they=E2=80=99re more engaged in the discussion and = more able to either meet our needs or explain why they = can=E2=80=99t. Many good communicators instinctively gain permission = or invite consent to have a conversation without giving it any thought. = They start important conversations by saying things such as: = "Hi, Bob. I need to = ask for a favor on my project. Got a minute to talk about it?" = "Hello there, Mr. = Gallyan. Say, uh...I=E2=80=99m not completely comfortable about this = project. Can we talk about it for a few = minutes?" "Janet, do you have = a minute? I=E2=80=99d like to talk to you about... Is that OK?" =  When we gain permission through such a = combined explanation-of-intent and invitation-to-consent we can help our = conversations along in four important ways: = 1.      = The listener has a = chance to consent to or decline the offer of a specific conversation. A = person who has agreed to participate will participate more fully. = 2.      = The listener also gets = to understand the "big picture," the overall goal of = the conversation-to-come. (Many scholars in linguistics and = communications now agree that understanding a person=E2=80=99s overall = conversational intention is crucial for understanding that = person=E2=80=99s message in words and gestures.) = 3.      = The listener is able = to prepare for what=E2=80=99s coming, especially if the topic is = emotionally charged. (If we surprise people by launching into emotional = conversations, they may respond by avoiding further conversations with = us or by being permanently on guard.) = 4.      = The listener can more = easily understand the role that we want them to play in the = conversation: fellow problem solver, employee receiving instructions, = giver of emotional support, and so on. These are very different roles to = play. Our conversations will go better if we ask people to play only one = conversational role at a time. = Getting explicit. = Often people conduct this "negotiation about = conversation" through body language and tone of voice during = the first few seconds of interaction. But since we often have to talk = with people whose body language and tone of voice patterns may be quite = different from ours, we may need to be more explicit and direct in the = way we ask people to have conversations with us. The more important the = conversation, the more important it is to have your partner=E2=80=99s = consent. To be invited into a conversation is an act of = respect. A consciously consenting participant is much more likely to pay = attention and cooperate than someone who feels pushed into an undefined = conversation by the force of another person=E2=80=99s talking. = It=E2=80=99s not universal, but to assume without asking that a person = is available to talk may be interpreted by many people as lack of = respect. When we begin a conversation by respecting the wishes = of the other person, we start to generate some of the goodwill (trust = that their wishes will be considered) needed for creative problem = solving. The empathy we get will be more genuine and the agreements we = reach will be more reliable if we give people a choice about talking = with us. As you become consciously familiar with various kinds = of conversations, you will find it easier to: = <ul> <li> Invite someone to have one of a wide range of = conversations, depending on your wants or needs = <li> Agree to someone=E2=80=99s conversational invitation = <li> Say, "no." Decline or re-negotiate a = conversational invitation from someone = <li> When in doubt, gently prompt a person to clarify what = kind of conversation she or he is trying to have with you = <li>Avoid conversations that are negative, = self-defeating or self-destructive </li> </li></li></li></li></ul>

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Feb 09, 2008

Effective E-Mail Communication

Like it or not, email has replaced letter = writing, conversation, faxing and even voice mail as the primary method = of business communication in the modern work environment. = Who wouldn=E2=80=99t love e-mail? It=E2=80=99s = easy, fast, and gives you the ability to deliver lots of information to = a practically unlimited audience, all while sitting at your desk eating = lunch. But that speaks to both the opportunity and the threat of email: = it=E2=80=99s easy to communicate well, and it=E2=80=99s even easier to = communicate poorly. So before you fire off that next message, ask = yourself these questions: Does this really need to be = sent? Just because you CAN send information faster than = ever before doesn't mean that you SHOULD send it. Think before = you write, and think MORE before you forward on an e-mail someone sent = to you. Just because you were mildly amused by a joke or cartoon = doesn=E2=80=99t mean you should send it to everyone on your distribution = list. Don=E2=80=99t send chain letters through e-mail, = and don=E2=80=99t send replies to "all recipients" = unless there is a very specific need for everyone to receive the = message. It wastes disk space, clutters up inboxes and can be annoying = to those who receive dozens, even hundreds of e-mail messages a day. = Think about your readers' perspective make certain = you=E2=80=99re sending a message that will be welcome and = relevant.  Will I regret this = later? Make no mistake about it - There is no such thing = as a private e-mail. Once you hit the =E2=80=9Csend=E2=80=9D button = (actually, as soon as you type on your keyboard) you should consider = your message public, because someone other than your intended recipient = CAN read it, and you may be surprised where your message ends up. = In addition, your message will live on for a = long, long time, so don=E2=80=99t send anything by e-mail that you would = not want posted on the company bulletin board, or published in the = community newspaper. A good rule of thumb is this: if you=E2=80=99re = debating whether or not to send something personal by e-mail, then = don=E2=80=99t do it. Either deliver it by hand or send it by snail mail. = Have I made this as brief as = possible? Your e-mails should be = concise and to the point. Think of them as telephone conversations, = except you=E2=80=99re typing instead of speaking. Brevity is power when = it comes to e-mail communication, and the last thing most people want to = see is a message from someone who thinks he/she is the next Dickens. So = save your longer messages, lengthy musings and formal reports for snail = or overnight mail. Is my message easy to = read? Don't get = caught up in excessive punctuation, such as a dozen exclamation points = at the end of a sentence. If something is important it should be = reflected in your text, not in your punctuation. AND DON'T TYPE = IN ALL CAPS! Remember, if you emphasize everything, you will have = emphasized nothing. Don't type in all lower case letters either. = If you violate the rules of English grammar and usage, you make it = difficult for the reader to read. Use white space to = break your message into readable chunks, and minimize fancy formatting. = Using HTML, or Rich Text Format, to format messages so that they have = special fonts, colors, etc. is asking for trouble. There are lots of = e-mail clients (and some servers) that can=E2=80=99t handle messages in = these formats. The message will come in as utter gibberish or in the = worst case, crash the e-mail client. <h3 style=3D"MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt">Does my subject line = get attention? </h3> <h3 style=3D"MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt">Use the Subject line to get = the reader's attention. Replace vague lines (Information on XYZ = Project, or Status Report Q1) with better hooks: Take 20 Seconds to read = this!, Exciting News on Our Project!, Serious = Problems!</h3> How personal is too = personal? <h3 style=3D"MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt">Do you open your e-mail = message with "Dear Sir", "Dear Mr. = Smith", "Joe" or something else? In = non-business situations, it=E2=80=99s fine to bypass the standard = formalities, just as if you were jotting down a quick note to a friend. = But in the business world, it=E2=80=99s much more complicated. Each = situation will need to be evaluated on its on, but in general, use the = following as a guide: If you normally address a person as = Miss/Mrs./Ms./Mr. Smith then that's the way to initially address = them in e-mail. If you normally call them by their first name then that = should be reflected in your salutation. If you=E2=80=99re unsure, stick = to the formal salutation. It's the safest = bet.</h3> <h3 style=3D"MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt">Smilies</h3> Since there are no visual = or auditory cues with e-mail, users have come up with something called = "smilies" to mimic the facial expressions and body = gestures that convey emotion in one-on-one conversations. They are = simple strings of characters that are interspersed in the e-mail text, = and the most common example is <code>:-)</code>. Turn your head to the left and you should = see a happy face (the colon are the eyes, the dash is the nose and the = parentheses is the mouth). While these can = certainly add a more conversationally dimension to your email = communication, use them sparingly, especially in business = communications.

Posted at 07:37 AM in Communication Skills | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

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